Links 93 and 94: Two Very Hilarious Things

First, from a column in the Guardian about men’s hairstyles, this spectacular line: “Stunt, a name that confirms cockney rhyming slang is alive and well in this country.” Just… breathe than in for a moment. How glorious! Hats off to you, Hadley Freeman. That is a LINE!

Second, I definitely voted no this morning. Just doing my thing for American democracy, as best I can, what with being Canadian and all. How brutal and hilarious that he’s already fired. I hope his wife takes him to the cleaners (and maybe also rethinks her taste in men, next time around).

Link 86: Oh My God Hollywood is Dumb

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEY ASKED WILLIAM FREAKING GIBSON TO WRITE THE THIRD ALIEN MOVIE AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN FREAKING FILM IT. I mean, COME ON: “Ripley’s cryo-pod gets damaged and she goes into a coma, and little Newt is wisely sent back to Earth to stay with family (there’s a sweet scene where she draws a map of where she’ll be and pins it next to the comatose Ripley)…” I’ve never even seen Alien 3 but I would have watched the fuck out of Alien III.

Link 85: On 1D Drag

I really (really!) don’t listen to One Direction, and don’t listen to any of the boys’ solo efforts, either. (I made it about a minute into “Sign of the Times” before turning it off.) However… there is something very entertaining–very compelling–about 1D fans, and their relationship with the band.

This piece from Racked about fans dressing like the band is a super interesting read. A “respect for the femme” is perhaps what I find so enjoyable about following the boys’ celebrity, even if I have no use for their music.

Links 83 and 84: A Couple Of Funnies from Elle

I did read some serious/ seriously good stuff this week (ie. that slavery article, plus this and this, all devastating in their own way. I’m slightly surprised that Tizon’s essay was mentioned in this piece by Jia Tolentino because I think it’s a form of memoir that’s vastly different from the kind of schlock that xoJane used to trade in [and I don’t think The Toast shut down because of a shifting landscape of personal essay writing, but because of Nicole and Mallory’s shifting goals and needs]; however, if Tolentino hadn’t written her piece then we wouldn’t have this bit of genius, so there’s that). (Also, Karen Templer’s wardrobe planning is envy-inducing and oh so inspiring.) Anyways…

I was left rather hollowed-out feeling by Tizon’s writing and the story of his untimely passing, but Elle served up a couple of good palate-cleanser-y pieces, and now I’m thinking I should be checking Elle.com out on a more regular basis? Maybe? This piece on ultra-long hair extensions was just exactly what I would want out of an article on ultra-long hair extensions (plus I am really digging her outfit!) and this piece on the problem with calling it a “romphim” is so right and very funny. I will 100% forever read everything about dudes in rompers because honestly they are sort of cute and people should just wear what they wanna wear but all of the *controversy* is highly entertaining. It’s this week’s Fyre Festival, no?